Despite their fur, gorilla bums don't need wiping. Source

Human spines and pelvises are unlike the spines and pelvises of primates and pigs.

A radically different muscular structure enables humans to stand on their own two feet. And as importantly, to carry loads while balanced on just two feet.

This list of the human skeletal anomalies that enable this is from Eugene McCarthy's MacroEvolution:

• Short, dorsal spines on first six cervical vertebra
• Seventh cervical vertebrae:
  • long dorsal spine
  • transverse foramens
• Fewer floating and more non-floating ribs
• More lumbar vertebrae
• Fewer sacral vertebrae
• More coccygeal vertebrae (long “tail bone”)
• Centralized spine
• Short pelvis relative to body length
• Sides of pelvis turn forward
• Sharp lumbo-sacral promontory
• Large arse (Massive gluteal muscles)

Why are humans like this?

Most likely because they were designed as load-carrying mandroids.

'Slaves' to you and me. Though their original product name was likely 'Jack'. But that's just branding. Marketing and model names aside, the engineering of bipedal load-carriers required they have more and bigger muscles attached to a more complex pelvis.

Which forces those more and bigger muscles to the rear.

Which produces the enigma called the human bottom.

Shown visually, McCarthy's MacroEvolution theory takes humans from this:

Obviously, this is disrespectful to the pig. Source

to this:

Human female demonstrates human gluteal muscle size and mobility. Source: Pornkai

Seriously.

If evolution designed humans, why do humans still need to be shown how to lift things?

Heavy lifters would have died out. Source: How To Bend Forward Properly | How to Lift Things Well | Healthy Manual Handling Techniques

Back problems suggest humans haven't learned how to use primary bone and muscle structures.

That's likely because this technology is new.

Nor does human confusion end with their bad backs. Human understanding of their gluteus muscles really is a pile of shit.

For example, primates don't self-soil when they excrete. But the development of huge muscles on both sides of the human anus up-sized humans' risk of self-soiling.

That outcome led to another outcome: the development of the toilet paper industry. Although gifting humans with intelligence enabled some to develop more effective self-inspection techniques:

Spine design enables intimate self-grooming. Source: NY Post

I should point out, in the interests of fairness and honesty, that some writers on hybrid DNA think the engineering went the other way: that pigs were bio-engineered from human DNA. They cite Greek mythology, such as the encounter with Circes in Odysseus:

Downgrades are a pig. Source: PIGSAREHUMANS / Human Meat Markets / Tainting Ancient and MODERN Civilizations

A more recent version of the same story claims edible hybrids were introduced to introduce ethics into the catering industry:

Ameglian Major Cow. Source: Meet the meat!

In much the same same way fish-on-Friday was introduced to help diminish human dependence on cannibalism.

Media often presents hidden realities as a joke:

It's a Lincolnshire thing. Source: Quantum Leap

Seriously.

Why do you think churches - and later schools - also introduced - of all the things - sex education?

Continuing McCarthy's list of things that make humans different to their closest primate relatives:

• Curved sacrum with short dorsal spines
• Hind limbs longer than forelimbs
• Femur:
  • Condyles equal in size
  • Knock-kneed
  • Elliptical condyles
  • Deep intercondylar notch at lower end of femur
  • Deep patellar groove with high lateral lip
  • Crescent-shaped lateral meniscus with two tibial insertions
• Short malleolus medialis
• Talus suited strictly for extension and flexion of the foot
• Long calcaneus relative to foot (metatarsal) length
• Short digits (relative to chimpanzee)
• Terminal phalanges blunt (ungual tuberosities)
• Narrow pelvic outlet

More:

Your bum and back really are a beautiful complex of muscles. However you acquired them, treat them well:

Source: How To Bend Forward Properly | How to Lift Things Well | Healthy Manual Handling Techniques

© All rights reserved. The original author/creator of each image, video, quote or text retains full ownership and rights.